August 19, 2009
-
Other whales are more interesting than me
I need to start wearing a sandwich board sign. The front says: I’M DUE SEPTEMBER 1. The back says: STOP ASKING.
Who asks me when I’m due? Everybody. The Wallgreens casher. A stranger on subway. Every colleague that passes me in the halls/elevator. Museum visitors. Random dude I am waiting at crosswalk with. A crack head.
I’m really not being self-centered here. This is actually happening. I know this is happening because I will be thinking about something totally random (such as narwhals, the unicorns of the sea) and a stranger will burst out with questions about my ripe uterus. It is a jarring experience, akin to being woken from a gentle nap by a person in a creepy clown mask.
Sometimes, the follow-up questions and comments are more exhausting than the initial opener.
“What are you doing up and moving around?”
“What are you still doing at work?”
“You aren’t 9 months pregnant. You’re way too small.”
“Oh look! You dropped!”While I think it is really interesting that humans seem hard-wired to rally around new life, I find it disturbing that this communal support of the future generations is so short lived. Once a baby is actually born, the community just seems to loose interest. American communities don’t demand policies that would adequately support maternity leaves, breastfeeding, or fund public schools. We give financial incentives to companies that ravage the earth that our kids inherit. We fund wars that kill the youths of other countries and use the economically disadvantaged kids from our own countries to fight them. In practice, people don’t even give a shit enough about future generations to trade in their paper Starbucks cups for a travel mug. So while the attention to the fetus is sweet, it is cosmetic. It is people responding to my physical shape. While I feel bad for knocking well-meaning people for their lack-of-substance, constructing cheerful response after cheerful response to such redundant chatter is exhausting. I guess I’m just looking forward to talking about other things with people. Narwals, for instance. I’ve been dying to talk about them with someone all day, but every time I walk into a room, I’m bombarded with baby questions. Even when I try to tell people about these crazy whales with horns on their heads, people just look at me with this creepy face that says, “Oh look. The pregnant lady is interested in the outside world. How adorable!”
Even my closest friends take a while to get over it. One pal calls me Baby Factory, which used to be funny, but I’m just bored of being pregnant. I want this kid out. I think she will want to know all about the narwals. Maybe we’ll even go to crazy remote fjords in Greenland to look at them together.
Comments (3)
I’m sure it must get annoying all the fussing and repetitive questions. Honestly I had to keep myself from asking your due date and keep from asking if I could touch your tummy and rub your belly for good luck. Kinda like a buddha. ;o) You are the buddha of the mca right now Truly. It’s very hard not to be drawn to you. but I would gladly talk to you about whales. I kind of want to go to the shedd and swim with one.
that would be neat.
The miracle of life still tends to be a novelty while the reality of it is left to the individual to cope with so if you want to talk about something besides being pregnant, go ahead- you are still a thinking being with a wide world of interests. Besides… some of us will listen!
I am going to click those links as soon as I leave a comment. I just like the sound of their name and that they have horns like unicorns.
This does remind me of the anti-abortion folks who only care about a baby in utero. Once it is out, it’s on it’s on own. Yeah, children who’ve exited the womb do not deserve healthcare unless they can afford it. WWJD? Drop kick anybody who thinks they can choose who lives or dies. From all I’ve read, that’s his pappy’s prerogative.
I like the rally feeling with it a little because it is one of the only times the human rally is for something that symbolizes hope. The rest of the rallies all have a somber tone and the uniform dress is black or nurses’ whites or doctors’ greens. Total bullshit that. Let’s have new rallies! Whale rallies! Unicorn rallies! Good lord, there has to be other opportunities to show thoughtfulness other than to plague a woman who is in the very last circumstance in which a person should be plagued. Unless well, it is one of the dark rallies. Then no plaguing there either.
That being said, I will send you money to see pics of her. Flat. Out. Very excited about that and don’t care how weird it sounds. Yeah, it’s selfish but my cooing voice is needing some air time. Oh wait! I can practice with Narwals!
Wishing you comfort and whatever blows your hair back until you get some, woman.
Btw, I am guilty of the rallying too. I come here first when I have time all the time now because I know here, your rally is kickass and it ain’t stopping even once she’s popped. This is going to be good for the long run. Sweet!