September 26, 2005
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This Little Blog of Mine, I’m Gonna Let it Shine
© The Author, 2005I’m afraid that this little blog of mine is going to get degenerate (more so than it is already) pretty soon. Lately, the thought of writing entries has become a chore.
A snore.
Okay, maybe snore is a stretch.
What I’m really afraid of is that I’ll start writing entries fit for an eye-roll. In this dreaded scenario, my entries will open with an approximation of my daily caloric intake, followed by a good crab about an irritating colleague or two, and conclude with a weighty consideration of the pro’s and con’s of letting myself be lazy with my workouts, resulting in the growth of a sizable ass.
The simple fact is, after writing in my writers journal on my way to work, staring at a computer screen writing all day once I arrive to work (or if its Friday and I’m pulling my shift at Columbia, talking about writing all day), writing in my writer’s journal on my train ride home, and writing a fresh one-page minimum on the story I’m working on for my class, lately the last thing I want to do in a week is write an honest to goodness chicagoartgirl-style blog.
Who knows, though–that could just be a piss poor excuse for being uninspired.
I was inspired to start keeping a blog in the first place because I was feeling alienated and had a sincere need to feel listened to. My family was changing too fast (my parents divorced, my childhood home sold, sad and overworked parents, sad and confused siblings, blah, blah, blah) for anyone to ask me how my job was going, if I was feeling okay, or if I’d been reading any good books lately. While this was (is) completely understandable, I was kind of lonely. My partner is a great listener and my greatest confidant–but to be honest, I’m not comfortable just having a little bubble of a world built of me and him–that can get sort of stifling and be really damaging for a relationship. My favorite activities are solitary (running, writing, reading, drawing), so it’s not like I have an abundance of social situations to purge myself of all the thoughts that swim around in my head. Plus, not many of my friends live here–they have all pretty much scattered, or are extremely busy with their lives. At work I was the lowest person on the totem pole, and feeling embarrassed, stupid, and ignored on a daily basis. Worst of all, my writing was without readers. So in lieu of interacting with “real people,” I turned to writing for an Internet audience. Pathetic, eh? If anyone ever did ask me in person why I blog, trust me–I wouldn’t have the balls to say something so lame out loud.
So perhaps being uninspired to blog is actually healthy. Perhaps I’m feeling more listened to in this world. Perhaps I am more inspired in my real life.
Work has been going spectacularly well. Based off projects I’d done at Columbia College’s Writing Center, I’ve been invited to co-write a chapter for a book that discusses the incorporation of creativity into academia. I’d always hoped that my writing would be published in a big, unavoidable way (mass media has always been stupidly appealing to me), but I’m pleased as pie to have this offer to write for the academic community. It’s all yippe-skippy to me.
My other job at the museum is going well too. I’m there four days a week now, instead of three. That means more money for me, as the Writing Center tends to pay me less than livable wages. I love that center to death, but I’m not working there for the money, that’s for sure. I was given the charge to organize the museum’s presence at an outdoor fair this weekend, and aside from the rain driving away the crowds in hordes, everything went off without a hitch. I was even given a round of applause at a departmental meeting and my heart felt like it was singing.
I am such a dork.
Writing class is going well too. I might have started out as the worst writer there, but there is nothing like a challenge to make me fly. I like what I’m writing, and I think that much of it is better than anything I’ve ever done before. I’m learning so much my brain feels like it could pop.
Shaun’s parents were in town last weekend and we went to see an awsome play called “The Last Boys” at the Steppenwolf (gotta love those cheap “industry tickets” I get for working in a marketing department). We were also treated to stories from Jim’s (Shaun’s step dad) life. I love it when people make stories out of their lives. That’s one reason why I love reading all of your blogs–people are fascinating. Really, they are.
So, as you can see, things are good. For now. A little out of balance (too much writing and working results in not quite enough human interaction to qualify as “normal”), but definitely good. With life treating me so well, what is there to blog about? ::smile::
___________________________________________________________Why do you blog? What makes you write what you do?
Comments (10)
If you did everything you mentioned in the fourth paragraph, threw in some narcissistic navel-gazing and generally sucked up to your audience, you could become a regular on Featured_Content.
Blogging is, for me, an outlet. To a degree it lets me friends see what’s happening on a daily basis, but it also frequently lets me get a point across. And some of it is the, well, narcissism of knowing that people read what I write and give instantaneous and often supportive feedback.
I think your writing is great. From reading your ‘uninspired’ blog, I can’t help but be envious of your classmates in your writing class, that is, they get to see the ‘inspired’ products. I do hope you’ll post some of your classwork.
Why do I blog? My intent in my blogging is to improve my ability to write; I would like to write about the most mundane of events and be able to capture my audience’s attention. My method for being able to do this is pretty simple. Write as much as possible, and read other people’s blogs that I feel I can learn from. It seems to me that I have alot I can absorb from other bloggers including yourself, that is everyone seems to have their own unique style of writing. I am in the midst of trying to develop mine.
Blogging serves as an outlet for me as well, though when I rant, I intend for it to be a funny rant; excessive to the point that it explodes with hilarity. But mostly, I just want to become a better writer, and the only way I figure I’ll get better is to read and write.
Unfortunately due to school, I’m going to be in the same boat as you soon…that is without the time to devote my full energies to my blog.
I first started blogging because my sister wanted to read about what was going on in my life. Now I do it to keep writing in my life even if its only in an insignificant blog entry. Ever since I finished my undergrad degree, I find that I write less and less. I used to be so good about keeping a journal. Especially when I used to substitute teach. Then, I’d bring it to work, church, keep it by my bed, and produced lovely rants and observations. Now my job requires my full attention; I can’t suddenly pull out a journal and start writing. My job isn’t necessarily mentally challenging, but it is exhausting. The last thing I want to do when I go home is write. I want to plop down on the couch and watch tv, or blast my digital jukebox and roam around the neighborhood. It’s unfortunate that lately blogging has been my only source of writing, but at least it’s better than nothing.
i don’ t blog. i don’t look down on blogging, i look down on the importance of my writing. i’ve always felt my visual art tells what i’m thinking better than my own words. i have the disease of over-inspiration at times, which seems to scare off the mildly motivated of the world. the remainder of people are definitely keepers and i treasure ther presence. i’m glad people that know how to write effectively and inspirationally do write as much as they do. it does inspire.
There are days my blog does exactly what your biggest fear for your own is… drone on about the mundane details of my day. At times I stop and think “does anyone care about all this crap?” right before I post it.
And I’m generally content with the answer: No. No one really cares how I celebrated my silly birthday or what I did on vacation or how many apartments I painted recently. My blog is for me – to articulate the things I’m thinking about, whether they are profound or mind-numbing. I’ve never been a journal keeper. I’ve started to a few times, especially as a teen, and always end up ripping the pages out and shredding them when hit with the sudden fear that someone might read them. And conversely, months on end would pass with no entry because no one was reading it. It clearly wasn’t my “thing.”
Blogging gives me an audience. I can censor my content to suit the anonymity of that audience when I choose, but I know that someone will read it and the words won’t go unspoken. It’s cathartic, even if those who read it regularly are strangers to my real world. And then I have a few “real life” friends who check in to see how I’m doing and what I’m up to, which is nice, too.
I just wrote a pep-talk paragraph but deleted it (right where these words are)
It sounded lame and very “embrace yourself.” Instead I will say that if you feel like taking a break from blogging, do it. (though I’d miss your entries) The internet will be here when and if you decide to return. 
blogging… i try to use it as part of the discipline of writing every day. some days, i’m more successful than others. it is a place where i can play w/writing techniques and get feedback. i learn about what works, when i’m not communicating what i meant to, and when my writing is effective. for me, it’s all about being serious as a writer. but i don’t think i could live your life right now and write here regularly. too stressful! sounds like a ton of great things are happening tho! so relax! enjoy being here. use it as a play space!
I blog mostly for the same reasons as gracebug, to write whatever I want to, get my thoughts out, achieve a certain level of catharsis; and to know that other people are reading my writing (even if it is mundane). To achieve the second end, and in an effort to provide myself with motivation for improving my writing, I’ve finally given in and have started copying and pasting my LiveJournal entries over into my Xanga account as well, in hope of increasing my audience. It also provides a quick way for my friends who don’t live close to check up on how I’m doing, as well as keeping a record of what I’ve been up to for the past year that my B/F will be able to read when he returns home from his two-year trip to Spain in November.
I love blogging! somedays I write long boring essays about my life that no one wants to read but me. Or I’ll post stupid quizzes or I’ll eventually post something interesting. I just blog because I feel like sharing random parts of my life with no one in particular. If you want to read my xanga go ahead, if you don’t want to, I’m fine. Actually strike the last statement from the record, I would rather have someone say I suck than to not say something about me at all.
You know, if you are ever completely out of blogspiration, you could always post some of drafts from the writing class, if you feel comfortable enough to let us read your fiction. I would be happy to read it—fiction is so, so hard to write (I simply can’t do it at all), and it would be a great experience to see what you do with it. Just an idea, no pressure.
I started to blog because I was bored as hell with my life, and wanted to be a writer but I’m not someone to write without a reason. I can’t keep a journal — I’ve tried many times, but it never lasts more than a week. I need to feel the pressure to have to produce something before I can continue to do it. So I started to blog, and suddenly I felt pressured to write (I had an audience! albeit you were the only one in it, but then it started to grow). I felt that I had to keep updating my blog, or I would lose my readers. Most people would probably be turned off by that pressure, but for me it’s what keeps me inspired. And then I began to find blog fodder EVERYWHERE. What once went out into an email to a friend now got posted on my blog. Sometimes, particularly when exciting things are happening in my real life, it becomes more difficult to update as regularly. But inevitably I find more fodder somewhere, and head back to the drawing board — err, the ‘new entry’ page.
Anyway… I enjoy your blog immensely, so I hope you don’t put an end to it.
Please don’t desert us. We like your blog just the way it is. I don’t mind it if you whine or have a bad day and complain about it. It just helps bond the blog community–we all have days like that, and we all understand.
I understand feeling overpressured, but don’t stop blogging. I will miss reading what you have to say.
Why do I blog? I haven’t a clue. It’s a way to jump-start me in my writing projects. But I don’t have any of those right now. It’s a way to keep the mind stimulated even when I’m not getting any work. And I feel like I’m part of an online community and I find that really envigorating.
RYC: Thanks for the nice comments on my zen posting.
Lynn