April 18, 2005
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I am a dumb ass.
The snake egg that was yesterday’s fun food exploration has hatched inside of me.
Today, a hateful serpent is writhing in my stomach; it’s hateful tail thrashing about the contents of my belly angrily, leaving me at the mercy or the toilet—perpetually wondering from which end of me my bile will exit.Already a broke ass hoe, now thanks to the snake egg that has left me retching at home today, I can expect a smaller check next payday.
I am dying.
Never again.
Until next time.P.S.
Since I am no longer amused by this, I don’t mind bursting your bubble. I’m not entirely certain it was an actual snake egg. It could have been anything’s egg–except a chicken’s. But I lead you on for kicks with this quote:
“It was about the size of an egg you might find in a small birds nest. Or, as my wild imagination suggested, a snakes den.”
Oh yeah, “I ate a snake egg today” probably diddn’t help much either.
Trust me, if my imagination was wild yesterday, it is rampant today. Now I’m certain it was the egg of an evil serpant.
Comments (10)
Oooohhh.
Ouchie!
If I may extend a silver lining: At least you didn’t eat at McDonald’s!
Hope you’re better soon.
There is a Chinese restaurant in Raleigh that advertises with the slogan “Hide Your Cats.” Because, I assume, we are all so liberal and progressive here that we would NEVER think that actual cat would be lurking in Chinese food. But, well, starvation makes strange platefellows, and there is a fine line between delicacy and disgust. At least it was fun while it lasted.
the snakes always seem to be evil don’t they? I could’ve told you not to eat the egg, weren’t you ever told as a kid not to eat watermelon seeds b/c a watermelon would grow in your tummy?
Hope all else is well. Peace Out and Take Care.
Autumn
Oh, I’m so sorry about this. And it really sucks that you lose pay because of it. Don’t you get sick days?
I’m taking Tank back off the list. Who knows if it was the snake egg or something else in your food? yuck.
Japanese are big on quail eggs, I wonder if it was that. I won’t eat those either.
Lynn
Oh my goodness! I hope you feel better!
I’m behind in my reading, but I will be catching up this afternoon. I look forward to some good reads!! PS, I will be in Chicago for a few days on my way to Santa Fe (that rhymes!). Maybe we should grab some coffee or something?
Poor thing. Did it taste good at least?
Hope you are better. Gosh, you’ve not done a blog in, what, three days? This must be bad.
RYC: My mom was sort of an atheist, too. She took care of the church nursery but wouldn’t set foot in the church. I tried out Bahai and am familiar with the temple. That didn’t work our for me either. I have a friend who’s Buddhist, but, as much as I admire the ideals, it’s not me. Neither is paganism, despite my obvious (bastet) dabblings with ancient Egyptian religion. I’m afraid I really dig on the big pageantry of the Episcopal high church and ritual is very soothing to the soul. I also as once in the choir and love the singing. So, when I need to go (which is like once every five years), I go there. I know a female priest there at the church, who told me it’s okay to disagree with the official teachings–all they care about is if you get something spiritual from the service. So, it’s a compromise I can deal with. They are also cool with gays and birth control and everything else–very liberal church. My brother-in-law calls it “Catholicism without the guilt.”
P.S. I’m not in Dallas yet, but am flying there today.
L.
ugh! maybe it wasn’t the food, but just a nasty virus… i wouldn’t have eaten it, but i love the idea that you were brave enough to try it, and now i’m afraid you’ll let this experience steal your sense of adventure!
I figured as much, but still. The word “tongue” in and of itself makes me gag. To see a floating one, well, eeeeck.