June 13, 2009

• A frank discussion about a beautiful new thing

  I don’t know if it’s an attitude adjustment on my part or if impending motherhood has made the world warm up to me a little more, but life has been pretty freaking good lately. In particular, family life.

  Lets be frank here: I love my family fiercely, but they’ve been known to cause me more stress than a timed math test. (If you know my relationship with algebra, that’s saying a lot.)

  My mom and step dad’s relatively recent split and subsequent pairings with new loves required all the expected amounts of adjustment (as well as some new and surprising ones). Then there’s the inconceivably fucked up world of my dad’s family and the exhausting task of tending to Shaun’s mom’s perpetual state of worry. Sad but true: family get-togethers of the past have left me with a deep need for a dark silent room and a cold washcloth to drape over my eyes. But things are changing.  I dare say: they’ve changed.

  After his visit in early spring, my step-dad has been calling weekly to check in on his grandbaby. While we’ve always talked regularly, we’ve never chatted weekly. It’s almost like the prospect of new life has allowed him to let go of something and give himself over to something softer. (In my company, anyhow.)

  My mom and Rick came to visit last month and honestly, I had a blast. While my mom and I have always been close, the aforementioned period of adjustment added some annoying element of tension to our family interactions for a while. This seems to have dissipated entirely. We are at ease with one another, the four of us (mom & Rick; Shaun & me) working under a new calm. During their visit, we went on long walks, visited the farmers market, ate yummy dinners at home, rode bikes, hung out in the park, went to the zoo. It was really one of the most relaxing weekends I’ve had all spring.

  Yesterday, Shaun’s mom and step-dad came into town. I feel awful having dished about my trepidation yesterday, as they’ve demonstrated nothing but pure sweetheart behavior. Their train came into the city at about 12:30 yesterday afternoon. Shaun and I fed them sandwiches, quinoa salad, and beer before taking them downtown to relax on a blanket at the free Blues Festival happening this weekend in Grant Park. Shaun’s step-dad is really into Blues; the rest of us aren’t adverse, but had more fun just chatting and eating almond M&Ms in the shade.

  After a time, we wondered over to Millenium Park to show them The Bean. Once evening fell, we headed back to our neighborhood to pick up our first CSA box at the Friday Evening Farmers Market at Uncommon Ground. A great bluegrass band was playing the market and we hung out to listen to them for a time before walking home. We walked in the door just in time for the Red Wings game, which we turned on and let the parents veg out in front of while Shaun and I cooked up dinner with the fresh veggies from our CSA box.

  For dinner, Shaun and I dished up cilantro pork chops, a warm veggie mix of kale/fingerling potatoes/heirloom radishes, and crusty grain bread. We ate at the table with the Red Wings loosing in the background and munched lime popsicles for dessert.

  This morning, Shaun’s taken his family to the Chicago History Museum to check out the Abraham Lincoln  exhibition. I’m chilling out at home, not wanting to miss my noon pre-natal yoga class. We’ll all meet up for lunch and garage sale scouting this afternoon. The rain is supposed to let up by then, so lets hope that happens.

  What we’ve not done is allow an unspoken tension to accumulate around us. This weekend is unfolding with the same ease as when my mom visited. It’s amazing!

  Perhaps pregnancy has humbled me enough to be thankful for assistance when offered, and that helps ease tension. Perhaps the common goal of wanting the best for Little Skittle has made everyone forgive each other for the silly, minor familial infractions that normally cause irritation with prolonged exposure. Perhaps we’re all just letting go, letting change be, letting the chips fall where they may and allowing ourselves to be pleased with the results.
  ___________________________________________________________________________________
  Have you experienced a recent pleasant surprise?

  • 11:48 am
  • 3 Comments