September 17, 2008

• Stop trying to woo me. It’s sickening.

  Just a quick blog before work. Quick, though, ‘cuz I got shit to do.

  I promised myself I’d not blog about the election too much because–most of the time–I hate political blogs. I like political conversations, but blogs just seem to incite rude-o screaming matches in the comments section. People write things that they’d never say and everyone just ends up sounding stupid. I can invite people over to potluck to brainstorm ways to change the world; but if I started political discussions online, any old jackass can chime in. Ultimately, I didn’t want to write about the election because I don’t need another stress and I found that political blogging isn’t a fun or productive spend of my time. In fact, it mostly makes me angry and there is enough media in the world to do that already. I promised to take my political activities elsewhere, strictly offline. But I’m breakfasting to NPR and just heard something that’s instigated me into political blogging.

  First, I can’t tell you how ANNOYED I am that America is just catching on that feminism is a political issue. I am also furious that Sara Palin has somehow become our spokesperson for this, twisting the feminist message to mean something along the lines of “women–even though they are stupid and without credentials–deserve the same opportunities as men.” Makes me sick. How Hilary has contained herself from public teeth knashing, I’ll never know.

  But what REALLY got under my skin was the NPR report that said that both parties were trying to woo women by doing the following:
  1.) Visiting beauty parlors (Obama ‘s plans for this weekend)
  2.) Cooking ribs with Rachel Ray (McCain)
  3.) Plastering the Oprah Winfrey Show with ads (which both parties are crazy about).

  Because if there is anything we know about women its that they really like to get their hair done, cook, and watch daytime television. So I guess I just won’t be wooed because, like most women I know, I’ve got to get my ass to work. I’ve got 8 miles to bike to get there and a department to run once I arrive. Its my husband’s turn to cook dinner tonight and I’ll be reading Gravity’s Rainbow this evening instead of watching re-runs of Oprah.

  A note to Obama and McCain: you’ve got us ladies all wrong. It’s 2008. Just like our friends with penises, we’ve got shit to do.

  Edit: I was a hellbeast of rage biking to work this morning. I thought a blog would purge me of my policital anger, but turns out: it was just the warm up.

  You want to woo me? Here’s what my vagina and I want:

  
  1.) Equal pay for equal work
  
  2.) Equal opportunities for educational/professional development, scholarship,
  business loans, and promotions
  
  3.) A choice as to what is and is not permitted to attach itself to my uterine
  lining
  
  4.) An economy where single-income families can survive. If my husband needs to
  take time off of his career to tend to an ailing parent or friend, see our
  child through toddlerhood, or go to effing graduate school: I need to feel
  confident that I can support us. He wants the same for me. We want the same for
  our gay friends.
  
  5.) Job security when/if I take maternity leave, which ideally: is 6 months
  paid, with a 6 months unpaid option. Think this is crazy? Check in with what
  the rest of the world is doing and get back to me.
  
  6.) Government protected “flex time” to tit-feed my child and later, send
  them off to school. This is not a wild notion; we are one of the only
  “developed” countries not doing it.
  
  7.) Both parties keep
  trying to “play nice” with each other and say, “we
  can all agree that fewer abortions would be nice.” So its adoption, yeah?
  I want government protection for gay marriage and adoption. Newsflash: men can’t make babies with other men. But they can make wonderful
  fathers together. Same for queer mammas. So let’s protect their families, for
  christsakes!
  
  8.) An end to abstinence-only education. This is a joke. Except its not funny
  because it breeds babies and STDs. Is sexuality so far removed from everyone’s
  lives that they have completely forgotten how old they were when they lost
  their virginity? On average, its 16 for us ladies; 17 for guys. Most people I
  know, including myself, fall into that category. There’s a lot about the world
  that 16 and 17 year olds don’t know. That’s why they go to school. Let’s teach
  them the reproductive biology of mammals, shall we? Let’s teach them how to
  take care of their reproductive health in a way that is realistic,
  comprehensive, sex-positive, and helpful.
  
  9.) An environmental policy that makes certain the future generation won’t
  inherit a toxic wasteland. Also: I want an environmental policy that makes sure
  that I actually can reproduce! I know an alarming number of twenty-something
  women with reproductive problems that I have a hard time thinking are unrelated
  to the hormones in our food, the pervasive number of plastics in our
  environment, bleach in our tampons, and other toxins in our environments.
  
  10.) Access to public healthcare. Did you know that birth control is free in
  most other “developed” nations? You wanted fewer abortions, didn’t
  you?

  Finally, I want many, many things that my breasts and ovaries have nothing to do with! I want a competent leader who will stop embarrassing me
  with things like a fence across the Mexican boarder. I want us to get the fuck
  out of this war and an to end
  to the horror show that is Guantanamo.
  (Is it so much that my president respect habeas corpus?!?)
  I want regulation. I want a real-world switch from globalization to local
  economies. I want a reform to the farm subsidies program. I want public transit
  to become a viable option for Americans again. I want equal distribution of
  taxes for public education. I want an America with a healthy middle
  class. I want politicians who understand that I read newspapers, I listen to
  the radio, I have opinions that weren’t even engineered by Oprah. You want to
  woo me? Understand that and respect it.

  • 8:15 am
  • 28 Comments