July 29, 2008

• Cellular Symptoms

  I think my vertigo was brought on by stress. I am the queen of the psychosomatic symptom, after all. After Vertigo swallowed me whole last week, I was freaked out enough to take a rest. I took a 4 day break from biking/running (a crazy thing for me to do in nice weather), I went to work (but I worked no overtime), and I retreated from social life (books and movies took the place of friends and conversation).

  During this rest, I had a chance to realize that I’m married to a cell phone. I miss Shaun.

  Until now, the long distance thing has been totally manageable. Its not been ideal, but prior to the Vertigo, I was really fine. I had Chicago back, full of friends and farmers markets and museums and lake-side loveliness. I like my job. I have a new bike! But really. Seriously. This. Sucks.

  Since our long-distance began in late May, Shaun and I talk at least once a day. We email. Google chat. Text. I am sick of talking. I’ve grown to hate talking. Talk talk talk. My jaw hurts. I hate my computer. Roar.

  My agitation at the talking makes me a bitch to talk to. It makes me a shite listener. “What does that even mean?” I hear myself asking. The threads of language become tangled in my agitated brain. I sound like a snot-nosed brat.

  Don’t get me wrong. I love talking to Shaun. He’s the funniest person I know. Smart. Twisted. Grand. But I also like experiencing things with him. Its just as much about sex as it is about seeing something hysterical and being able to communicate it to someone with nothing more than the lift of an eyebrow. Its about seeing new things together. Its about making things together. Meals. Homes. Evening walk routes. Netflicks queues. Its about playing frisbee and with someone without worry about how much you suck at it. Its about being able to ask for help. Its about not even having to ask.

  I don’t understand how to cook for one.

  Anyhow, he’ll be out August 19th. For good. This is never allowed to happen again. It blows.

  Once I let myself come to terms with everything, I felt better. Squee had her old friend of our from high school over last weekend–someone who I always liked a great deal but never really established a true relationship with. So it was really cool to get to know her and chill out. She’s really come into her own; I always remember her being pretty in a hippie chick sort of way, but she is a real bomb shell now. She reminds me of Natasha from the Bullwinkle cartoons. We three went to a great patio restaurant for drinkies on Friday night. The outing was my official end to my pity party: I miss Shaun but thats no reason for the summer to suck. Life is now.

  Saturday, I felt 100% good again. After my morning run and a few chores, I took my bike in for a small repair. I rode downtown to the Museum of Contemporary Photography (at my alma matter, Columbia College) to check out their latest show. Ate a brown bag lunch (patty pan squash salad w/ cold brown rice) in the Art Institute Sculpture garden. Rode back uptown and went swimming and read my book at Foster Street Beach. I came home and drank a cold beer and ate some yummy trout with farmers market kale and tomatoes while watching the BBC series, Spooks, on DVD. This is my idea of a perfect day in Chicago. This is why I call this place home.

  I move into our new apartment on Friday. I pick up a rented cargo van Thursday evening and pack it up in the night. I’m doing this in the evening because I’ve arranged to buy a Craigslist couch and the seller needs me to pick it up Thursday evening. I’ve also arranged for a guy to help me move the couch from Craigslist. The dude just lives down the street from where I need to get the couch from and he seems super nice.

  Here is the couch:
  

  It is ugly in the way that I like. It reminds me of circus and burlesque queens. Plus, the price just can’t be beat and I like that it is 6 feet long and deep. I like tall armrests/couch-backs. It makes me feel like I’m in a cave. I’ll be sleeping on this couch until Shaun and the movers arrive in mid-August.

  I’ve also arranged to buy a Craigslist chest of drawers and a cool, vintage Eames chair (below):

  

  It needs a little patch, but I like it. And again–the price is great for a vintage Eames. These pieces will go good with our art. I like that I get to match the furniture to the art. Ha!

  I also want to make good use of the cargo van on Friday by going to the garden store to fit our new pad with some vegetation. Some herbs and house plants, since its too late in the season (I think–I might be wrong) to take advantage of our yard (yes–we have a little yard for the first time ever. YAY!). While vegetation is not exactly in the budget at the moment, I want to take advantage of having a vehicle (for new readers: I’ve been car-free for nearly 8 years. I’m a bike/bus/subway rider and lucky to live in cities where this is possible.).

  Anyhow, its going to be a busy weekend. But it is the tail end of everything. And soon my regular life will be back and better than ever.

  Also: I’m not thrilled with the book I’m reading, A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian. I was looking for something fun and funny (but still really good–I tend to really struggle with “beach books” and chic lit makes me want to kill myself), but this is not making me chuckle yet. Any reading suggestions? Books I’ve found funny: Master and Margarita, Jitterbug Perfume (I tried all the other Tom Robbins, seeking the same fun and I did not find it), and everything David Sedaris (but I’ve already devoured everything by him, including his latest). I also think Death of a Salesman is hilarious. Few things have made me laugh harder than when Willy Loman calles Biff an adonis. I also think the names Biff and Happy are hillarious, in general. I want to name two horribly ugly purse dogs Biff and Happy. Or perhaps two salamanders. Godot also makes me laugh. Whenever I wait for the bus, I am really waiting for Godot. I read: A man named Pozzo enters with his slave named Lucky, who he calls Pig. I laugh. You can see why its hard to find a funny book for me, can’t you? For instance, I thought that The Happening was the feel good hit of the summer. People tell me that it is a horror movie, but I’ve not laughed so hard at a movie in ages; I see a man walk into a lion cage at th zoo and calmly feed himself one limb at a time to a tiger. I laugh. Mark Wahlberg is a comedic genious.

  With these things in mind–any suggestions?

  • 11:52 am
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