December 8, 2007
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Model Behavior
I’ve made blog mention before about how much I like temping at the Sony Wonder Museum; I really dig spending a few hours of my Saturdays helping kids around the television studio, assisting them in the audio lab, and making sure they don’t kill each other in the video game suites. Plus, its been a real eye opener for me. Of all the troubles that I’ve had in the last handful of weekends I’ve spent temping at Sony Wonder, its not the kids that cause them. Its the parents.
Most of the trouble brews at wildly popular activities that require patrons to queue to participate – such as the music room where you get to learn all about instruments and play along with a cool ‘Lil Bow Wow video. You’d be surprised at how many parents think its okay to stand in line for their spawn while said spawn runs amok playing other video games and drooling sugar all over the controllers. Once at the front of the line, the parent calls out, “Jimmy! Come play!”
At this point, I quietly tell the parent that saving places in line is forbidden at Sony Wonder, as it is unfair to all the patient boys and girls who waited their turn; I gesture to their angelic, single-file little faces for empasis. I inform the parent if they want to play, they can. But if their little
Jimmy wants to play, he has to wait in line like everybody else. And I make sure to tell the parent this quietly, because I understand how mortifying it is to get yelled at by a museum invigilator and because I get that undermining the parent’s authority in front of their kid could make the parent have a very bad day.Nevertheless, about 50% of these parents stomp their feet. They get red in the face (I hate to
pull racial/social stats here, but most of the angry space savers are
of the white, mock turtleneck and loafer wearing, suburban variety who
seem to redden with ease). They get sassy. They huff and flail. They
embarrass the kid that they were saving a space for. “It’s okay, mom,”
little Jimmy often says, “I didn’t want to play that one anyway.”Its just shocking to me how people fail to see the ways in which they model behavior. I just want to shake these parents and say, “do you want your Jimmy to grow up into a road raging, bully with unfounded feelings of entitlement? Is that really how you prepare your child to make this world a better place?” Instead, I smile and say, “Sorry – rules are rules,” before letting the happy, patient kids through the door.
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How about you? Got any helpful tips for those brave people trying to raise the next generation?
Comments (3)
Well, in my experience you’ve hit the nail on the head. Modeling the behaviors one wants a child to acquire is invaluable and the reverse is more than difficult to undo and almost insures difficulties for the child later.
It’s very difficult but refreshing to find parents willing to be the consistent steady force. Too often if a parent can afford a desired object it is acquired instead of doing the time consuming work of assigning chores for payment and counting money earned. In the ether I have met many who do the hard work and I am always warmed to read of them. It has to be so difficult to be the “bad guy” when so many parents are vieing for the most popular. I love them!
Typically the children I work with have more easy to spot parenting woes like alcoholism and neglect, but sometimes the other comes around too. There are parents who assume that if they step in long after it is too late for something to be handed in, they can save the grade instead of letting the child experience failure and all it can teach.
Your description once again brings back the memory of Sedaris. This time with his stint as a Christmas elf. Thank you for being the parental stand in! And thanks for this picture too. It’s well drawn.
That also resembles my experience ushering graduations (as I will do again next weekend). The kids are always great; the adults not quite always. For instance, when I have to play Camera Nazi and talk to a parent up at a barricade taking pictures, they feel compelled to pull the I paid thousands of dollars for their education and I’m compelled to reply: So did all those people whose view you’re blocking by standing.
Again, when will people learn how to be role models?
Lol!! This makes me laugh sooo hard because I have worked with kids for a long time and for me it’s always the parents fault. Kids are little sponges and they absorb so much. One thing that will really do wonders down the line is teaching your kids manners. Please and thankyou’s are marvelous!