June 26, 2007
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I HAVE SHINGLES!!!!!
Saturday I noticed a series of red bumps on my upper left thigh and showed them to Shaun with fascinated disgust; I thought I must have rolled over a spider in the night and in a struggle to live, Mr. Spider attacked my leg with bites. I hoped to soon notice super-powers emerging; the agility of an insect and the ability to shoot web out of my wrists. But then Sunday rolled around and instead of feeling like Spider Woman, I felt like I had a hang over, which is never a fun feeling but it especially sucks when you’ve not even had anything to drink the night before. The bites were swelling and turning purple-ish; the left side of my abdomen waned puffy, swollen and tender. “Must be some sort of allergic reaction to Scottish spiders combined with some gnarly menstrual cramps,” I thought. I slathered bug bite cream on my leg, took an ibuprofen, and spent much of the day napping. It hurt to walk.
Monday rolled around and the bumps seemed scabbier. That’s a good sign, right? I limped to work. Since my job is so sedentary lately, the day was fine. Except the bits where I had to walk; then it felt like someone was stabbing me in the tender, node-laden place where the front of my left leg joins my body. Ouchie. I fell to a fitful sleep at 7.30pm.
Today I woke up and called my doctor. My leg/abdomen hurt like a mutha, with the added fun of the chills, sweats, a migraine, and real live menstrual cramps. I described my problem to the GP over the phone and was whisked to an emergency appointment; not an easy thing to do when using National Healthcare.
The doctor looked at my leg and said, “Those aren’t bites. Those are shingles.” Immediately, I thought of something that looked like this…
…and passed out.
I passed out again when the doctor tried to tell me that I would not turn into a deformed chicken, but rather suffer from flu-like symptoms while a painful virus that looks sort of like chicken-pox formed in a band around a cluster of my nerves. GROSS! He said the word chicken. I passed out again.
I passed out a grand total of 5 times and left the doctors office a sweaty, shaking mess. I saw my hunkered reflection in a shop window on the way home and mistook myself for a heroin addict. But no. I just have SHINGLES, a virus that usually only affects people over 60. Immune System – what we’re you off doing while SHINGLES snuck into my body?!? Do your job, will ya?
Anyway, I’m gonna have shingles for up to two weeks. It could be shorter, but it shouldn’t be longer. I got a perscirption for painkillers so that it won’t feel like someone is stabbing me in the loin. I got a doctors note to be out of work for two weeks, but I’m hoping that I’m not out that long. That’s just weird and I get bored at home. I like reading and movie watching, but I also like running and walking and Frisbee playing and seeing friends and going to work and lots of things that you really don’t get any enjoyment out of when you have SHINGLES and it hurts just to exist in the world, let alone be mobile in it.
Okay. End of pity party.
The doctor was amazed that I waited so long to come in and that I’d been walking around on it. “You must have really strong muscles to move you through the pain,” he said. “I’m a runner,” I replied. And I was so, so thankful that I was.
I was less thankful that on my doctor’s note, the GP wrote the Latin name for Shingles, Herpes Zoster. Hello! Nobody wants to call in Herpes to work!!!! Isn’t it bad enough that I have to call in Shingles?!? I wanted to ask them to write a new one, without a word on it that implies that I have a VD, but I was about to pass out again, so I kept my mouth shut.
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Ever had shingles?
Comments (9)
No! Thank god!!!
As always, your illness related entry has me cackling and guffawing. All the best in your recovery and keeping yourself occupied.
ryc: I enjoy a good broccoli stem myself, they’re worth the $.04 in my book.
No shingles for me! I hope you feel better soon. One of my law professors cancelled class for a week once because he had shingles. He got better, but he said it was pretty awful while he had it.
Isn’t shingles related to chicken pox somehow?
It is related to chicken pox, Thin Lizzy! If you’ve had chicken pox before, the virus can slumber in your spine and one day, when your immune system is comprimised, it wakes up, vengeful and raging. Since it lived in your spine, it only can rampage on one side, along a band of nerves. Some people get it on their face, near their eye and I am so so so so so so so happy that is not me.
Perhaps my earliest memory is of having chicken pox, about three years old or so.
But haven’t had shingles. Don’t particularly want them, even though you described them quite artfully.
Oh my god that sounds heinous!!!! I hope you’re feeling better… or at least high on painkillers. I busted out laughing at your last paragraph. You’d think the doctor could’ve thrown you a bone, for chrissakes. You have shingles! Isn’t that bad enough?
Holy Crap that sounds unpleasant. I’ve never had chicken anything, and I hope this is yet another chicken thing I can avoid getting in this lifetime. I had no idea shingles was related to chicken pox, though. When I think of shingles I think of shin splints. And roofing. I have no idea why the former, though the latter doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out.
Anyhoo – glad you’re on the road to recovery a-la pain meds. I’m not a good stay-at-home person either, but try grilled cheese and tomato soup. And maybe a coloring book. If it doesn’t make you feel better, it might at least come with a wave of nostalgia.
frightening!! I had chicken pox when I was a little kid, and the girl down the street had them and rubbed her disease ridden self on me. I remember watching a lot of sesame street and my sister brought me home some pipe cleaners and puffy balls and googly eyes to make crafts with. Maybe Shaun can bring some home for you.
Serious ouch! I am glad you are a runner too. I worked in a pharmacy and shingles kepot some people bedridden in pain.
I’ve never had them but I have seen the skin part. Which is bad enough but when I think about what it does inside to the nerves…You poor girl!
Here’s hoping it is much shorter.
I had to laugh at this “I passed out again when the doctor tried to tell me that I would not turn into a deformed chicken,”
You have a gift woman.
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