January 30, 2006
-
Where My Dogs At?
Well ladies and gents, as of Sunday, it is officially the year of the dog.
Woof. Woof.
When I writhed out of the confines of my mother’s womb in the damp wool-gray March of ’82, I was a dog. With the goo of birth covering my fur and slicking my eager tail, I snuggled up to my mamacita and rested my little dogface on her welcoming chest. I let my human mother (I found out later that she was actually a rat) nuzzle my burrito-like body lovingly for a few minutes before I got too excited and pissed all over everything.
Not only does my birth year explain my habit of pooping outside and rummaging through trashcans with my mouth, but according to placemats at Chinese restaurants worldwide, it also ensures that I am loyal and honest. However, just like everyone else born in 1922, 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, or 2006, I also happen to have a few downsides (aside from licking my own ass). Dogs can be selfish, stubborn, critical, and worst of all eccentric. Even with all of our faults, dogs make good leaders. Ever see Milo and Otis? Great movie. Just ask Lassie.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________What animal are you?
Here are some pictures from the Chinese New Year Parade in Chicago this past Sunday. Enjoy!
Here is a poster of me, carried by my adoring fans.
This is a human.
This is another human. She is the queen of the parade eventhough she looks a bit surprised about it.
Kilts are all the rage in China, I hear.
Ronald is a hit with the Chinese as well. All hail globalization! All hail America’s fat ass spreading world wide! All hail….oh, what’s this? He’s in a shoe. Gotta chew, gotta chew, gotta chase gotta chase.Hot damn, I’m a good dog!
Comments (11)
That explains your former profile pic, the human-looking dog hunched over the doggie dish. A relative of yours?
Yep, that’s McDonald’s symbolically trying to stomp out Chinese culture by enforcing its own bland of conglomerated homogeny on the world’s largest country.
Kilts are always cool … but hey, stop looking up them! Bad dog.
Aww … look at you wagging your tail and looking at us with those puppy-dog eyes. Yeah, you’re right. Good dog. Good dog!
Hey I just looked at your birthday. It’s two days before mine. I’m year of the dog too. I’m not so convinced about being described as loyal. All the “bad” stuff all own up to. With pleasure. Honest…yeah okay mostly. I can wear loyal too, with the right lighting.
ryc: I’m guessing Utah schools are just like schools everywhere else. I just lucked out and had some really awesome teachers. My art history/literary magazine teacher was amazing. He’s now moved on to a private school, so I guess I just got the luck of the draw.
Oh no. Dave Letterman appears to be mocking Utah. Just Orrin Hatch. Hee hee. Senator Orrin Hatch’s question to Alito (paraphrased): Now for the record, are you against women and minorities going to college? What? Why even get out of bed if that’s all you’re going to ask? Well then. My state was on tv today. Good night! Happy new year!
You know what they say about big shoes………..big feet. Oh Ronald! I’m a rooster. I don’t recall what my recent Chinese menu said about me but dogs generally like to kill roosters so perhaps ths will not be my year.
Woof! Happy New Year from your fellow mutt. I’m sorry that I missed that parade. I laughed outloud when i saw that banner with the dog on it – i don’t know why that seems so funny to me but something about it is hilarious!
I went to a Year of the Dog party where two dogs were in attendance–and one very pissed-off looking cat.
Sadly, I heard a story on NPR about Chinese people eating dogs and now humane societies are trying to stop the practice. Can you even imagine? I was really grossed out by the report. Heck, I can’t even stand the idea of people eating rabbit.
Lynn (who should be a vegetarian, but never could quite work it out)
Oh, I don’t know my animal. Horse or something.
I’m a sheep, apparently (1979):
Sheep simply want a bit of peace. They enjoy carrying on with life in their own quiet, individual way, content to be in the middle of it all rather than to be leading it. Sheep are quiet and calm people. They enjoy cultural things and focus much of their energy on artistic hobbies. Sheep are easygoing and relaxed, happy to be going with the flow.
I’m not sure I’m buying that this suits me all that much. I guess I’m not Chinese in spirit, either.
I was born in the oh so flattering Year of the Rat. From the San Francisco Chinese Cultural Center Children’s Web class:
People born in the Year of the Rat are noted for their charm and attraction for the opposite sex. They work hard to achieve their goals, acquire possessions, and are likely to be perfectionists. They are basically thrifty with money. Rat people are easily angered and love to gossip. Their ambitions are big, and they are usually very successful. They are most compatible with people born in the years of the Dragon, Monkey, and Ox.
Whatever. I once dated a Monkey. Big Mistake.
Take care,
brad
RYC: Yes, a groundhog is a marmot. Lot of hoo-haa for just a little rodent, huh? Still the one in the movie is kinda cute.
I didn’t know hubby was going to post^^. I wonder what year I am? Somehow I think it’s horse.
Lynn
OOO, better be careful around me. I’m year of the snake.
Lynn
Yay happy year of the dog, (gao in chinese)! I am a tiger. Rawr! According to the site this is me.
Tiger people are sensitive, given to deep thinking, capable of great sympathy. They can be extremely short-tempered (this sadly is muy muy true!), however. Other people have great respect for them, but sometimes tiger people come into conflict with older people or those in authority (this sadly is also very very true). sometimes Tiger people cannot make up their minds, which can result in a poor, hasty decision or a sound decision arrived at too late. They are suspicious of others, but they are courageous and powerful. Tigers are most compatible with Horses, Dragons, and Dogs
Hey it says I’m compatible with Dogs! You know that’s great, because if it hadn’t I guess I would have had to stop talking to you.
-Jen