January 26, 2006
-
Some Socks of One’s Own
Ms. Woolf said, “a woman must have money and room of her own if she is to write fiction.” While I don’t agree that my writing suffers when a tight budget mandates that I have to share everything with Shaun, good ole Virginia hit the nail on the head with her larger implications that when a woman has her own cash to burn, her life rocks just a little bit harder. Namely, she might acquire some socks of her own.
Shaun and I approach life with unbridled veracity—our positive, undaunted attitudes keep our joy ride through life fun, even when we are sharing one pair of holy socks between us. We married when I was 19 and a sophomore in college and Shaun was 22 and had just graduated from college a few weeks before we wed. We charged off to Chicago on a wave of optimism that was so contagious that we quickly found jobs in a market that others called “impossible.” I got an oh-so-glamorous job at Starbucks and Shaun found employment at a handsomely paid not-for-profit art museum (har har). Shaun busted his ass so that I was always in school full-time and I never felt any pressure from him to sacrifice my important studies to work. He supported me in a million different ways.
Once I graduated from college, I was also working for meager pay, a patchwork of different part-time schedules (many at not-for-profits) to make ends meet. We are anti-credit card debt (we have our fair share of student loans to keep us company), so we continued to live frugally. But we are new to life, and we are happy and eager to work anywhere, to learn anything. And we learned how little money has to do with happiness. Even when we were eating nothing but lentils for months, even when I had only one pair of pants to my name, even when a simple matinee movie had to be budgeted at the beginning of the month in order to happen, and even when the thermostat wasn’t allowed above 58 last winter, we were laughing, having a great time, and loving life.
That said, I couldn’t have been happier to hear about my promotion at the MCA this week. Not only will this provide me with the amazing professional development that I crave, but it also means that the generous raise that comes with the new position allows us to breath a much deserved sigh of relief. Budgeting is no longer a matter of survival, but rather a means to fatten our savings account for our grad school pursuits. It means that I can buy more than one pair of pants that I iron nightly to give the appearance of freshness. I can stop my nasty habit of sharing Shaun’s hole-ridden dress socks. I now have socks of my own.
In addition to buying socks of ones own, this week I did some other grown up shopping. I bought a grown up purse—not a tote bag, not a backpack—a purse. I ordered a real live lady coat—not my trusty, rusty ski-jacket, and not my well-worn jean jacket—a nice coat. A work coat. I bought dress shoes that make me rub my feet when I get home and say, “oh, my aching dogs,” like a real grown up (this has already lost its charm). Tomorrow I’m off to New York and Company to get some sale dress shirts so I can replace my old, pitted out dress shirts. Granted, I am still shopping clearance racks, but I am able to get what I need.
And I needed socks of ones own.
______________________________________________________________________When did you smile in the ugly face of capitalism?
Comments (10)
I remember when I got my first paycheck working after school as a janiter at my high school emptying garbage cans and pencil sharpeners. I remember it was around $120 for one month and I was blown away. I bought a pair of running shoes. Not cheap shoes from payless like my parents always got me but Nikes from Famous Footwear. I started teaching piano lessons a few months later and quit the janiter job, but the shoes lasted me a long time.
i love this piece… mostly bc you were able to see the charm in the poverty and the joy in the bit of having a bit more… and i agree- life is good when you have your own socks!
I wish my husband had your optimism. We live very frugally, also, but to him it is an annoying burden. To me, we live doing what we can and I am grateful for all that we have.
I have of course posted a recent entry dealing with the yuppie guilt of paying 55 cents a donut instead of buying the day-old half dozen.
But — here you go — most of my athletic socks have holes in them (which is why I tend to double up). Why? It’s because of my continuing boycott of Wal-Mart, which is about the only place within 40 miles where I can buy such things (or pay an outrageous amount at JC Penney). So, even to the point of impractability, I try to assuage my yuppie guilt with good old-fashined social responsibility.
A belated congratulations! Wonderful!
All hail clearance sales! I am the queen of clearance, and I commend you on your finds. A hint: try H&M. There’s one on State and one on Michigan Ave. They have the most amazingly stylish stuff for ridiculously low prices. They are kind of like the Ikea of clothing. I found out about them in Amsterdam of all places, and was delighted when they came to the U.S. I’ve got a lot of trinkets from H&M, plus some clearance jeans ($9.99!) and other goodies. Even when I have money, I still shop the cheapy places. It’s a life-long habit. But I have no socks with holes in them, TG.
again, congrats on the new lease on (paid) life.
RYC: I was actually going to start KAFKA ON THE BEACH, which I bought at your suggestion. It’s been sitting in the to-be-read pile for a long time. I’m been spending a lot of time on spiritual reading and research for my next novel project, so I still haven’t cracked it open. But I will.
Lynn
My husband and I lived much like you and Shaun for many years. There was never enough money to go around and we cut out what felt like everything enjoyable. It’s been a long road and with every increment of improvement I am most thankful. Always aware to not take it for granted. It’s been my experience to splurge and buy expensive socks. I’ve had some of my Smartwools for five years or more with no holes.
A giant congratulations to you. It’s most deserved. The universe always does correct itself.
I am still a poor college student, but I still have my parents that I can leech, room and board off of and a cell phone. I just have to get everything else. Clothes, shoes, fun. I spent the last two years with holey pants, but one has to save.
I also wanted to wish you a belated happy anniversary!!!!!! You pictures are so pretty!
Your comments meant a lot. I’m glad I could help a bit. I’m always willing to share if I can. I think the prepackaged christian crap that your brother speaks of is the same reason I was so turned off God for years. It seems that in our country, that is the only way to get “the whole package” and i resent that, too. He is probably not at the end of his battle and he will break your heart again. Don’t turn away. Be there for him. He is so young. He has his whole life in front of him. I hope you have the strength to help him through. Show him my post. it may help.
God bless your brother.
You are a doll for your words and I absolutely LOVE reading you. Congrats on the new job and Happy Anniversary
Oh yeah, the Vote Vagina picture. I think I went into google image search and put in the words silly sexual or maybe even vagina. vagina may do it. Feel free to copy mine if you’d like.
What a great feeling it is to be able to put a little into savings each paycheck.
I’m weird (and in some ways lucky) in the sense that I’m one of those people who gets more satisfaction from saving money than spending it.
Congrats on the promotion!