July 26, 2005
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A ChicagoArtGirl Walks into a Bar…
Blogger extraordinaire, TimsHead, tagged me last week for a little game of internet debauchery. Since I was super busy teaching the writing workshop, I didn’t get a chance to complete the tag in a timely manner, but considering I uncovered the tag just before heading out to my favorite Chicago bar, The Inn Joy, to enjoy (har, har) the excellent music, chill atmosphere (read: NOT A MEAT MARKET), and the lovely, lovely air conditioning (a big draw for people like me who live in steaming un-air-conditioned hell holes), it was almost perfect timing. This tag makes for riotous bar conversation that will surely get everyone talking. With your cocktail conversation needs in mind, I will share with you the Top Five Fictional Characters I Would Take to Bed (ahem…), even though I am an English-blooded prude who keeps her sexuality (I am cringing here, folks) pretty private.
1.) Brett from The Sun Also Rises
The point of this character was that she was a sexy, personable lady who was a delight in bed. Who wouldn’t want to sleep with her? Besides, The Sun Also Rises is my favorite book and I can’t very well sleep with Jake, now can I?
2.) Alobar from Jitterbug Perfume
With the help of his lady love, this man discovered an elixir that made him live for a thousand years. I dig that passion for life. Plus, they were tantric.
3.) Morpheous from Neil Gaiman’s Sandman
This character was the Sandman, the keeper of dreams. It would probably be a nice experience to sleep with a person who could so easily tap into your subconscious mind.
4.) David from Strangers in
He’s an intellectual “sensitive” type that I like, so it seems likely. I can’t expect everyone to be mythical, now can I?
5.) The maid turned Witch in the book Master and Margarita
This one I stole from Shaun, but I like his logic. Even though she turned her lover into a flying pig, unpredictability is always a riot. Plus, these witches were bombshells—not hags with warts and split-ends.
Remember folks, you may be inclined to choose your character from a movie, but beware of choosing them based on the slick appearance of the actor or actress that plays them. Plus, I find choosing a character from a novel easier, since books allow you to get to know your characters better (I’m a big fan of monogamy, can you tell?). I won’t tag anyone outright, but feel free to add your fictional hotties in the comments box.
What is your favorite cocktail conversation starter?
Comments (9)
Mine is:
“Excuse me Ms., do you like pineapples?”
I feel so incredibly illiterate (and unextraordinaire) reading your list. Not a single one of those books have I read [
], but your rationale is sublime. Thanks for playing!
It’s not a cocktail conversation starter per se, but I do like the following query: If you were to have dinner with four people, living or dead, who would they be? I insert it here rhetorically because at some point on a slow blog day that may be my whole entry … given the interesting assortment that reads my blog it could be quite fun.
Pretty cool list. I wouldn’t have thought of doing it that way. But, then, I rarely think in terms of who I would sleep with. The furthest I go is “Boy, that Viggo Mortensen (of “Lord of the Rings”) is hot!”
RYC: He’s Fred Shafer and he teaches at Northwestern but has private classes in people’s homes. He has a waiting list a mile long. He used to edit Tri-Quarterly literary magazine. He’s certainly worth it, but he’s tres cher.
Lynn
Interesting question. I think Brett might be on my list too, ditto your reasons. I want to say Sue from Jude the Obscure, but that is tainted because she’s Kate Winslet. (Arabella would be a better roll in the hay anyway — you did say “sleep with” not “enter into a long-term monogomous relationship with” — but then she’s also Brenda from Six Feet Under. See, this game works better if the novels you’re picking haven’t been made into movies. It’s hard not to imagine the character as the actor/actress after you’ve seen the movie.) Denise from Jonathan Franzen’s The Corrections, because it takes an alluring combination of moxie/balls and wanton self-destruction to have affairs with both your boss AND his wife, and because she might cook for me. Beyond that, I don’t know. I’d have to think about it.
Totally agree with you about Alobar! What a hottie!
hmm, I’m not sure…Right now I’d have to say probably Mike Harris from “The Guardian” by Nicholas Sparks or Taylor McAden from “The Rescue” also by Nicholas Sparks. Then there’s Patrick O’Malley from “Hide and Seek” by James Patterson.
Mike Harris, isn’t cute per se, but he’s down-to-earth, a nice guy, talks to animals as if they understand what you’re saying (I do it a lot), and is a mechanic which means he’s good with his hands
.
Taylor McAden is a cute firefighter who’s also a nice guy and is great with kids. I can’t think of any other reason as to why I picked him…hmmm, I don’t know, just don’t
The last guy is Patrick O’Malley. He’s also a nice guy, good with kids, doesn’t mind to get a little dirty, but loves to go sailing on his boat. He loves the open sea…I love it too.
Of course these characters are all from books that I’ve read recently…the last one is from a book I just finished reading, while the first one is from a book that I’m reading now…go figure.
Great question, sorry my comments a little long.
Hope all is well.
Peace Out and Take Care.
Autumn
“Not a single one of those books have I read”
I’ve read all those but Strangers, woo, good literate day, here I come. As for sleeping w/ book characters, it’s hard to pin point exactly a few atm, but I must say the book that had me “hot to trot” so to speak was those extremely bad (and quite filthy) Anne Rice Sleeping Beauty novels. It’s sad that the feelings I got from them were both lusty and crusty, ugh.
Jay “I Love Kat Rawr”
RYC: That’s the way I learned to love the Cubs, only I had bleacher seats way back when. The organ, the hot dogs, the drink hawkers, it was so Americana! I just loved it and have been a Cubs fan every since then. We go today to see them against the Diamondbacks and I think the weather will be spectacular.
Lynn
I appreciate that you chose literary figures as opposed to movie stars. I feel I know characters in a book so much better than someone I’ve watched on a screen for two hours – plus they can look however I make them look. Nice list. Sadly I don’t encounter much cocktail conversation but I do tend to be a Cliff Claven and start coversation with random bits of trivia.