June 26, 2005
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Friends long absent are coming back to you
The Author, 2005“What are you going to be when you get big?” her father asked.
Amanda, in an orange sunsuit, had tired of chasing moths and was studying the peculiar afternoon shadow projected across the countryside by Bow Wow Mountain. “There is no name for what I’m going to be when I get big,” she answered.
-From Another Roadside Attraction by Tom Robbins
My friends are some of the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. So much more than a familiar and comfortable support system, those who I have the privilege to call my friends inspire me, relax me, and challenge me. They are men and women who refuse to submit to a prescribed life. They are inventive, they are revolutionary, and they are constantly evolving. While all of my friends have chosen different ways to revel in the wonder of life, we all value living a thoughtful life above all else. To us, living thoughtfully trumps everything; if it is for the right reasons, we’ll happily take the two birds in the bush over one in the hand. While we all sometimes flounder in one way or another, it seems that this core value—rare and true—keeps us bound together. It is quite beautiful, really.
This weekend Shaun-san and I rented a cabin in Saugatuck, Michigan with a group that we have been friends with since high school. We started as a motley crew notorious for loitering about the high school drama club and we have grown into a budding collective of writers, artists, teachers, and musicians. I am so proud of my friends. I am proud that they are brave enough to do what they want. It takes balls to even contemplate what one wants from life, let alone to pursue it.
Two of our friends in this group are ditching the midwest to live in L.A. and Baltimore. They are pursuing their artistic endeavors, throwing caution to the wind and believing in their abilities and strength enough to know that they will not only survive, but they will flourish. It’s nice to see such independence and strength in a person. My partner and I, plus three other amazing pals from Michigan, celebrated our last hurrah with these two creative masterminds by racing up impossibly huge sand dunes and rolling down them to charge into the cool and fishy waters of Lake Michigan. We played Frisbee, volleyball, horse, and monkey in the middle. We went hiking, roasted hot dogs and marshmallows over a raging campfire, made and destroyed a piñata shaped as a deranged saber toothed fish, and talked about life while swimming across the small bay that our cottage was cuddled up next to.
Since we already live apart from many of our long time friends, today’s parting was no more bittersweet than usual. In fact, it was actually a bit exciting, as we started planning our New Years Eve trip to California. Redwood forest—here we come!
Now back in Chicago, my skin is dark and clear and my mind is light and happy. Stress? Never heard of it. I am refreshed and grateful. I am ready for a new day.
Tonight Shaun and I ate Thai food for dinner, as the refrigerator is barren, save for some crusty milk, an eternal bottle of vodka (we aren’t really liquor drinkers, but it was a gift), and some condiments (mincemeat and Dijon mustard, anyone?). When we received the fortune cookies with our bill, my face burst into a smile. My fortune read, “Friends long absent are coming back to you.” I couldn’t have asked for a better one.
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For those interested in spending a chilled out happy weekend in a lazy beach town on the west side of the great lake state, I wholeheartedly recommend that you book your accommodations at Goshorn Lake Resort (www.glresort.com). It’s not a fancy-smancy resort—it’s cabins, but they are an incredible value (two nights in a cabin that slept seven cost us only $240!!!). There is a private beach, basketball, volleyball, canoes, fishing boats, a pool (the beach is gorgeous, so I’m not sure why they bothered, but oh well…), a fire pit, and the friendliest proprietors you will ever meet. It is situated only 5 minutes from downtown (if you are into ignoring the gorgeous natural environment in favor of buying loads of hideous crap), as well as the famous Oval Beach and Mt. Baldy. Saugatuck is an incredibly gay friendly little town as well, so come one, come all! There also seem to be a lot of people with dogs in tow, so really—two legs or four, everyone is invited.What great getaways do you recommend?
Comments (8)
Sounds like some great friends you’ve made. Unfortunately, our high school was a crucible of conformity, where being creative and exceptional (in anything but sports) was looked upon with suspicion. The only people from high school I still associate with are my relatives. Sad but true.
Top getaway: The San Juan Islands reachable by ferry from Seattle. If your interests include camping, history, hiking, whale-watching or just plain beautiful views everywhere, it’s a great escape. I hope to return.
I drove to California a few weeks ago. The beach was rejuvinating. I never grew up near an ocean and this trip was only my third to the coast, but for me at least, there’s something primevally (is that a word?) refreshing about the ocean. Maybe it’s because I don’t live by one. Lately, when I see commercials that have an ocean in them I feel a small sense of almost-homesickness.
Anyway. Sounds like your getaway was great. It seems like so much effort to keep in contact with old friends sometimes, but it’s always worth it.
Hi. I stop by your site occasionally and have always enjoyed your essay of the moment. Several times I’ve meant to comment, but because I want to say more than “hey, great read!” I always seem to get distracted in the middle of composing my thoughts and end up not posting anything.
Today is no different, I’m afraid, but I decided to stop being a closet reader and come out in the open, even if my comment isn’t as well thought-out as I’d like it to be.
I enjoyed your essays regarding child bearing (a while ago) and your ghetto-fabulous teenage friend (even longer ago) the most, and this most recent one about the Amish girl (okay, not really about as much as featuring ) does not disappoint.
I look forward to stopping through on a more regular basis!
your essay was wonderful and i’m so glad i stopped and took the time to read it. the way you write about your frineds leads me to believe that you, too, must be a wonderful person for your friends to be friends with. (shit, did that make sense?) i am still friends with several of my high school friends. unfortunately for me, i am the only one that is into the creative arts and writing and being a free spirit so to speak. well, as free as i can be with a 15 yr old boy. lol!! he is really really creative, btw. luckily, my man is an artist and designer so i get my fix at other times. my high school was so conformist and cliquey and as much as i wanted to be involved in drama and music, i stuck with writing and painting.
you sound like a great adventurous person and i will tell you this.. you are a wonderfully entertaining and engrossing writer. have a good day.
Well I can say that I still keep in touch with my friends from high school, but since you know that I was still in highschool a year ago, that’ll just get an eye-roll. My friends are a lot of fun, we hung out in front of the lockers in the hallway laying on the floor sitting, laying on each other. During Christmas time we would decorate the wall by our locker with a christmas tree made out of wrapping paper and place all our gifts around it and then exchange. It was soo much fun. I can’t say that my group was filled with atists (seeing as like three of them were major mathletes and hated art and creativity, mostly cuz they sucked at it), but we were all supportive of each other and our aspirations.
Hmm, I can’t think of a getaway place, since I don’t go on vacation ever. I’m going to missouri in a few weeks to be a camp counseler at camp penuel. we’ll see how that goes, I’m not as outdoorsie as I wish since I have a fear of bugs and I hate standing in the sun, but there is something about camp that is super fun.
about your comment, didn’t you feel like a feminist with that cut?
What a wonderful weekend! I have a college friend reunion AND a camp friend reunion coming up in August and, let me tell you, they’re what are keeping me going at this point. I can’t wait. I absolutely adore my friends, as you do yours.
Hey, great music selection. I haven’t listened to that album in a million years (actually, it went missing), so I just download “Send me on my way” in celebration of your post.
We had a lovely get-away to Saugatuck, Michigan, once. So funny that you mentioned that town. I really love it there, but it really seems to be a bunch a Chicago escapees trying to pretend they are from Michigan. You are the real deal.
Get-aways are hard to do because we have a diabetic cat that needs insulin shots. We tried everything from cat sitters to sending him to friends’ houses, but nothing works. He gets freaked out and hides and doesn’t get his medicine until we come home. Since my son is moving out, I really have to figure out what to do with this crazy cat or else we are going to be prisoners of this house!
I’ve missed seeing you at my blog. I’m afraid I drove everyone away with my tennis obsession, but I’m going to get it under control. More interesting blogs to come.
Lynn
ryc: David downloads radio shows all the time for later listening on his (unnamed) iPod, but I have yet to venture that direction. If I did, though, it would be “This American Life” on NPR because I haven’t heard it since college but used to love it.
I hadn’t heard of the other broadcasts you mentioned… sounds interesting though. Potentially scary, since anyone can do it, but interesting nonetheless.